Dear FutureMe,

What are you doing now? Still crying over guys? You always have this bad habit. People say you fall in love easily… sure, you always have crushes everywhere, which is a normal thing, but your problem is… when you are committed to one person, your loyalty is undeniable. You torture yourself by loving one, too much. I bet you don’t even want to remember about last night. But I’m here to remind you back. ‘Cus the past is always what taught you more about life.

Can never imagine several cares from him could actually lead you to become an idiotic like last night huh? So, you thought you could avoid him that whole night and have a good night sleep? I guess we were wrong. Never imagined he would keep calling even though you really said you’re not hungry and planning to just munch some biscuits while watching movie. And by answering that phone call, and listening to him asking why wouldn’t you eat. Something inside you just melts? When he said, “Call me if you’re going to eat.” and you kept asking inside, “Why do you care so much?” And you did ask.. “Why?” And he said, “Because I want accompany you.” Is it because of the language barrier you’re both having had made you misinterpreted the word “want”? You still want to ask why… but you just say okay. And then… why did you send that message? Just eat and go back. After that message, you both kept playing with each other through the messages… you played so much that it’s starting to become serious. WHY? Why are you so stupid? End up, embarrassing yourself by saying stupid things and then still messaging him when the fact he’s actually standing beside you while you only realised it when he messaged you saying that he’s just right beside you? Gosh Lene, of all the stupidity you have, why does at this moment you have to be the most stupidest one? And why did you tear up? Embarrass, yes. You just can’t control those tears since you were small huh?

And why, why does God has to play with you? Why is it when things go bad, you always ended up coincidentally meet him. Of all these times you went to Tuesday classes, you had NEVER seen him. But how come of all days, this morning you ended up seeing him in the bus…and that look he gave you… can you ever forget that? I can’t even interpret what is he trying to say or thinking from that look. If I would like to make an assumption, it’s obviously not a good one.

What should I do now? How can I ever face him again? Good thing for you, you’re in the future now, everything has past. I wonder how you overcome it.

Love,

ME.